EPILOGUE-CHAPTER THREE

The dissolution of galactic superstates is always inevitable,
but the many resultant cultures are not without problems.
They tend to deny the essential Oneness of all things and to
forget that they too are subject to the forces of Impermanence
and Frustration, death and decay. Not even the Universe itself
is exempt from this process.
H.H. Polira, the Mahakarmin
on Merudhatu. December 3962

The point of light that was Meru Minor came first; then, after first lighting an arc of the ring around Merudhatu, Meru Major lifted above the horizon to begin a new day. As usual, the air was still in the Circle of Harmony, but dust thrown up by storms beyond the perimeter created scintillating beams of light. To Jan the display was ominous. She nervously measured her steps toward the Seat of the Buddhas, where her karma-linked visualization would soon begin.

Jan slid onto the Seat of the Buddhas. This was where the emanations for the visualization emanated.

"This visualization contains a strong emanation from Aksobhya, Lord of the Eastern Paradise, and his reflection, the Lord Vajrapani," said her Holiness, as she removed her slippers and touched her naked feet to the heptagon. Polira placed her right hand on Jan's forehead. Even before an image started to appear in front of the Wheel of the Law, Jan could feel unseen forces moving around her. It was a flickering swirl of energy, and it stung as Jan plunged violently into it.

'She was right; it hurts. Oh, does this ever hurt! My whole body feels like it's suffering hundreds of electrical shocks.' Jan thought as she formed tight fists with her hands and concentrated to keep from biting her tongue.

The pain vanished and was replaced by relief. The air felt dry and warm, and she was in motion.

The first image appeared about two centimeters in front of the wheel. To the people around Jan, the visualization was silent, but she could hear fragmented, incomprehensible voices. The clarity of the images on the wheel was continuously changing, but the dream-like sensations that Jan was experiencing were more constant. Jan realized that she was walking. She also realized that she had a different body. It was a man's body.

'This is just like when I was little, when we used to exchange memory traces between the boys and the girls.' remembered Jan to herself fondly.

There was something familiar about the man, for hanging from his neck was her favorite charm.

'Her Holiness is right: the charm does seem to follow my psycho-kinetic stream.' Jan noted to herself.

The terrain was rugged and somewhat barren. The man was walking along with many other people and animals. People were riding some of the animals. Everyone wore simple, light-colored clothing to protect themselves from the heat. Jan recognized two of the type of animals from courses she had taken in comparative religion: they were burros and camels.

The man was walking next to another man, who walked while he led his burro. They did not know each other, but the man with the burro knew he was being watched. He was about to question the stranger about his identity, but the stranger spoke first and asked if he were the great prophet Issa, whom he sought. Without a look of surprise, the man with the burro replied that it was one of many names that people called him. The stranger said that his name was Kranmuk, and that he had been watching Issa in his travels for many years. Issa had noticed Kranmuk ever since the caravan had left Kabul. The stranger was not a Persian, not an Indian, nor an Israelite. Kranmuk was not like anyone he had ever met before.

Kranmuk asked Issa where he was going. Issa replied that he was going home to Israel. He said that, when he had visited the grave of Moses at Mount Nebu last week, a letter from his mother awaited him. In it she urged him to the land of his birth immediately. He had learned much during the years of his absence, but he was sadly afraid that his native people would not be happy to hear of his new philosophy. Kranmuk told Issa that he had come to help him and to protect him from the many sly enemies that he would meet. Issa conceded that Kranmuk looked very strong and very confident, but he urged the stranger to commit no violence on his behalf. Kranmuk warned of a painful death upon crossed planks of wood, and Issa replied that he had foreseen that possibility and that Kranmuk was unusually knowledgeable. He asked Kranmuk of the place he called home, and Kranmuk replied.

The image faded for a moment.

'I missed where he was from! The information is being kept from me.' thought Jan angrily.

Issa replied that he had heard of Kranmuk's home and that few had ever travelled so far. Kranmuk then realized that he was indeed, Issa, the prophet whom he sought, as they stood and embraced for a moment.

Jan looked around. 'All the Christian Pilgrims are kneeling; of course they are kneeling. Issa is Jesus, the Christ, their prophet, exactly as the Buddha Shakyamuni is my prophet!'

Several days of the events in the visualization passed within a few seconds; then something happened. Bandits were pacing the caravan, waiting for the right moment to attack. Kranmuk chose to stay behind and wait for the bandits. He would not listen to Issa, who said that he would meet with them and soften their hostile intentions. The caravan continued westward, while Kranmuk, unarmed, confronted the bandits and ordered them to stop and return to where they had come. One of them came forward to test Kranmuk. Kranmuk knocked him down with one blow; then the others attacked.

'All these men are so violent and barbaric! They can't all have a hormonal problem, so it must be natural for the time.' thought Jan with a note of displeasure.

Kranmuk defended himself against ten to twenty men at a time--all armed with swords, spears, and other weapons--without weapons, but just his extraordinary strength and speed. More bandits joined the fray, but Kranmuk was able to handle any number of attackers quite easily. Someone grabbed him around the neck, but Kranmuk tossed him over his shoulder without any strain.

Kranmuk fought on and on for several minutes, but it was obvious that he was tiring. Without the potent, inherent karma of the charm, he could not keep up the pace. Jan felt a stabbing pain, followed closely by another; Kranmuk had been struck by two arrows. The pain was intense, yet Kranmuk pressed on against his attackers. Light reflected off a sword as it flashed by; then there was darkness and the visualization ended.

The image was gone, but there was still pain for Jan. Her whole body felt battered and bruised, and her clothing was soaked with sweat. A stream of water trickled down her left side. She wiped her side and then held up her left hand.

'Blood! Impossible! Kranmuk foolishly died four millennia ago. Am I to suffer for him?' she thought as she emitted a startled scream that she did not even hear, because she had collapsed from exhaustion.

"You're going to have to quit fainting on the heptagon," Gianna chided lightly.

"How many hours was I out?" asked Jan as she tried to shake the effects of her sleep.

"Not hours, but days," replied Gianna. "You were in a deep sleep for three days."

Jan noticed that she had on a change of clothing. She felt her left side, expecting to find a bump or similar problem, but everything felt normal. "That visualization was an experience...that I do not intend to repeat! Was I dreaming? Was there really blood?"

"There was blood; it often happens during visualizations, but there were no wounds of any kind," Gianna explained. "There is often such intensity that a lot of people become temporary stigmatics. It's a sympathetic response."

"Kranmuk was an odd man, but what a very stupid death! After all that, how can I refuse your mother's offer of guidance, difficult as she may be." Jan realized, " Victor is due for his blessing, but I can delay that until I go home for Thorran's blessing. Can you arrange another audience so I can work out the details?"

"It is not necessary; she has already given me instructions. I wrote them here," said Gianna as she handed a piece of paper to Jan.

Jan quickly glanced over the paper. It was an outline of the desired daily routine that she was to follow. It was rigorous but not too demanding. It included several types of meditation, chanting the mantra of Tara, and special discourses that she was to attend with the Disciples. Jan scanned the list again, but she could not find the expected restrictions. "Where are the special covenants and vows?"

"Mother did not see the need for them. You will take vows as required during your meditation practice. Like the Disciples, you are to be beyond ordinary vows."

'I don't believe this. What is my relation to this whole scheme?' Jan asked herself seriously.

A new year began. Jan adapted to the routine prescribed by her Holiness. Victor began to both walk and talk, but Jan did not have enough time during the day to tend to his needs. To her surprise, Rig stepped in and began to care for her child. In fact, despite the lack of any prerequisite experience on his part, he was especially accomplished at child-rearing. This was an additional surprise for Jan, because she had always been told that most people outside of Columbia were usually lacking in basic parenting skills.

On the first of May, the routine was broken to celebrate Vaishakha, the birthday of Shakyamuni, the buddha of their age. A special Abhishekha was held during the last two hours of daylight. It was a time of initiation. Jan wore a special white robe as she stepped into the font of ancient oil. Two attendants pushed her under; then she stood up, dripping oil. She recited her refuge vows, as her Holiness poured oil from a special cup and spoke special Urgayan words. Then Polira proclaimed that, from that moment on, Jan would always be known as Treeshia within their community.

Months passed. Jan had ceased to think of all the ritual, meditation and studies that filled her days as being unusual. She started to look forward to each new day and began to overcome her tragic losses back on Aurora. Her friendship with Gianna grew, as well as her special, but undefinable relationship to her Holiness. And then there was Rig. He was so helpful that Jan felt a little guilty about taking advantage of him. He was always there when she needed him: to answer some question in her studies, to take care of Victor, and to comfort her at night. Then, as the day of Thorran's blessing fast approached, it was time for Jan to take a break and go home to attend the ceremony.

"It's something you have to get used to," explained Jan after the Tangent had just out-warped from the hyper-void. "When we in-warp, the view ahead is bent away from us in such a manner that we are apparently going backwards. Conversely, when we out-warp, the forward view is bent back to us in a way that makes us suddenly appear to lurch forward."

Gianna, Tendzin, and even Rig had given up comprehending Jan's explanation and just stared at the mainscreen display; the Tangent could scarcely contain the gaze of the three of them as the ship re-entered the star system of South Columbia. After being cloistered on Merudhatu all their adult lives, the expanses of interstellar space were overwhelming. The Tangent was slowly entering the equatorial plane, where it would dock with Perimeter Station II.

The many null-detection fields of the ship were shut off, and the flashing warning beacons were activated. They gave the ship an odd appearance as they intermittently lit the tops of the many pylons that were installed in the cavities that were created by the complex curvature of the hull, whose slope alternated between positive and negative in varying patterns. The pylons held field generators and telemeters that performed and measured the many complex external functions.

First it was a single bright light; then it grew into an ellipsoidal array of lights laid out in countless complex patterns. The Tangent was soon dwarfed by Perimeter Station II. The starship dock--almost a hundred kilometers in diameter at its larger axis--was the largest single man-made metal structure the others had ever seen or even envisioned.

Jan pointed to three objects in the distance on the mainscreen. They were all huge, cylindrical Genesis planet-makers, named Goliath-5, Goliath-12, and Goliath-29. Jan assured the others that any one of those machines would easily dwarf Perimeter Station II, and that, in fact, they were so large that they could not generate a hyperdrive field harmonic index higher than eleven. One of the machines was scheduled to begin work in the new star system of West Columbia. West Columbia was a star two and a half light-years distant. It was beyond convenient transmatter range, but there were plans to build two bridging transfer stations to link West Columbia into the network with North and South Columbia. The other two Genesis machines had been sold and were awaiting shipment: one to Israel Aleph, and the other to New Britannia.

After having paused for a moment at a giant field-generated force lock, the Tangent switched on and adjusted the entry field. The outer skin of the ship shimmered as it passed through the force lock. Once completely inside, the Tangent was guided towards an internal dock. There, after they had disembarked, the Tangent would have a long conversation with one of the station's analyzing computers. They would discuss the Tangent's current health and any necessary repairs that were not convenient for the vessel's numerous self-repair systems.

As the connector tube extended, Jan carried Victor and led the others into the main airlock. She was more than a little nervous; many members of her family would be there, and they were not always open to strangers. She had been living a life of relative isolation for a year and a half, away from all the petty family protocol. She also had a troubling secret...she would have to find someone with whom to share and discuss it.

Then there had been a strange message from her son, Karlen. He had proclaimed that he had some momentous announcement to tell her.

Jan shifted Victor to Rig, as she held his hand and led him and the others through the entry gate onto the concourse. She tried to be as gracious as possible as she faced the crowd. Her father met her first and gave her one of his firm hugs, but her mother stayed farther back; Jan caught a definite glance of disapproval from her mother out of the corner of her eye. Jan thought she had sighted all her children except Karlen. There was Robberta with Devon: they both wore coordinated dresses, and Devon carried little Thorran. Beside them were Alexan and his new fiancee, Julianna. Behind them were the twins, Anne and Erikka, and their spouses, James Fletcher and Bryson Korning. There were also strangers, but Karlen was no where to be seen among them.

"I want you all to meet three of my favorite people, my friends from Merudhatu," Jan asserted. "This is Gianna and her husband, Tendzin. And this is Rig. Rig and Gianna are children of her Holiness, Polira, the Mahakarmin."

'There, that should be forceful enough to impress my mother!' thought Jan sternly.

Everyone cupped their hands in a quick courtesy; then Jan and her friends were surrounded by a huddle of Jan's relations. The twins were most intrigued with Gianna and Tendzin and had them quickly pulled aside. A young woman whom Jan did not recognized touched and stared at Rig.

"You look great, mom," said Robberta as she embraced her and gave her a kiss.

"And different," added Alexan as he gave her a quick hug. Their gaze met for a moment. It was if he understood all that had happened to her.

'He is my most dharmic child. Maybe he does sense me. I'll have to be careful.' Jan warned herself.

"And this is Julianna," he added as he hugged his fiancee.

"I am happy to meet you, Julianna: happy for both you and Alexan.

"Mom, mom!" yelled the unknown young woman, who left Rig's side and ran to fetch a young man. Jan stared with a puzzled look; she did not have another daughter.

"It's me , mom! Karlen, only I go by the name Karla now! And this is my friend Benjamin. Don't look so puzzled; Devon is feminized, so why can't I be too?"

"The voice," gasped Jan in bewilderment. "Androgynes never have the voice changed. You've got a woman's voice too. Isn't that a little confusing? Your letter about a few hinted 'changes' did not even begin to explain your new look!"

"It's all very logical. Society is built for you antoverts; we synoverts are so rare that people just stop and stare. Now we fit in visually, and I like my new persona. Ben and I want to get married, have children, and raise a family."

'I suppose there's logical sense there somewhere. At least, synoverts can have children via an artificial womb. What is Karla wearing?' Jan thought.

"What in the name of...what kind of shoes are you wearing?"

"These?" questioned Karla as he took one off and showed it to his mother. "These are high-heeled sandals. They were in fashion thousands of years ago, and they are again with androgynes. They make us men as tall as the ladies."

"They look very uncomfortable," Jan accessed.

Devon nodded agreement; he was not wearing a pair of them.

"But what we really want is for you to marry us, along with Alexan and Julianna," Karla urged.

"But I'm not empowered...."

"Yes, you are, mother; you took ordination from her Holiness, and that empowers you to marry us."

Alexan nodded agreement, as he stopped a conversation with Rig for a moment.

Everyone else had transmattered back to Aurora, while Jan took her friends over to the local Foreign Affairs office to get visas for them. The procedure only took a half hour. She spent the rest of the day giving them a tour of her home planet. They had been away from Urgaya since their early youth, so walking about on an open world like Aurora was a marked contrast to the narrow confines of Merudhatu.

Alexan took Rig, Gianna, and Tendzin on a tour of the shrine of Shakyamuni on Pacifica, while Jan took an important break. After she had completed the first part of a rigorous physical examination, she waited her physician, Dr. Nina Bradford, to return with the results. She was nervously anticipating those results.

"Good news," explained Dr. Bradford. "I have never seen your charts looking better. Your trip to Merudhatu has been good for your body. There are absolutely no problems."

Jan stared at her for a moment in an unconvinced mood. "There are no problems whatsoever?"

"You're in touch with your body, but you know that. You know you are pregnant, and you've properly arrested the development of the fetus. It's in first day stasis, which is the right procedure."

"Dr. Bradford, it can't possibly be proper for me to be pregnant. I'm not married, and women in their seventies do not have babies."

"It's become more common in this century than in the last. I can see that it might create problems for you, but I'm not the one with whom to discuss the implications; there is no medical problem. The embryo is that of a girl with a healthy genetic pattern.

"Centuries ago, we women had rhythmic periods of time and other unconscious mechanisms that controlled when we were fertile, but our ancestors changed that when they gave us our much more complex deterministic control. As women, we now hold ultimate power over creation, and you can, of course, abort the pregnancy by will."

"That is not something that...I could bring myself to do. I was hoping that my instincts were wrong. I guess I'll have to go to a Trikaya Council for answers. My mother won't like this at all."

"Would you like to have the modifications administered now?" asked Dr.Bradford. Jan agreed. The procedure only took ten minutes. A hyper-entry probe was used to access the embryo via the fifth dimension. The genetic-modifications were introduced by way of a pseudo-virus. Everything was painless; the embryo now possessed new desired traits that Jan and Rig could not have passed onto it.

Jan went before her local Trikaya council the day after Victor and Thorran had been blessed. She did not have much time. In the morning, she was to perform a double wedding for Karla and Benjamin and for Alexan and Julianna; then she would return to Merudhatu two days later.

The Council deliberated for five hours after Jan stated the circumstances of her problem. Their decision was neither unanimous nor clarifying. By majority opinion, Jan's unborn child was determined to be of extreme karmic importance, but also enigmatic. They all recommended that Jan discuss the problem with her Holiness on Merudhatu for a more definitive answer.

The days passed quickly; then it was time to return to Merudhatu. Jan had a final meeting with her children just before departure. She explained her situation in detail, and she emphasized that Merudhatu held all the answers. There were last moment farewells and embraces; then Jan reluctantly turned Victor over to the care of her daughter Robberta and son-in-law Devon as she led Rig, Gianna, and Tendzin back onto the Tangent.

Four months had passed since Jan had returned to Merudhatu, but she still had not spoken to her Holiness. Jan was not even sure what good another audience would do, because she was not known for precise, definitive answers anyway. In the meantime, Jan's days had become dreary experiences filled with anxiety and frustration. She could not reestablish the effective routine that she had developed before she had gone home to Aurora. If she tried to concentrate, despair filled her mind. She often thought of Robbert...how he and her happy lifestyle had been brutally torn from her. She was plagued by guilt: the misplaced passion and unplanned child might bring dishonor to her family and to her husband's memory.

Another morning came, and once again Jan looked expectantly at Gianna, waiting for another rejection. This time Gianna did not sadly shake her head; instead, she took Jan by the hand and led her back down the spiral corridor to the underground shrine room. Without a word, Gianna left Jan with her mother.

This time there was a difference. Jan was very excited as usual, but her awe of the occasion was gone. She spent several silent minutes trying to get her mind in order, as she once again floated in the air opposite to Polira.

"I need answers, good answers; I've been here in ignorance far too long! I need to know how I fit in. I'm pregnant, and I do not know how to deal with it!" Jan asserted, when she thought the moment was finally right.

Polira did not answer Jan's plea. She just continued to float there in her meditative posture, eyes turned downward.